On this International Women’s Day, I am grateful that this season of The Bachelor, an iconic feminist show, is about to come to an end next week. You know it’s bad when people’s guilty pleasure does not bring satisfaction anymore.
This week is Fantasy Suites week. Does Matt James also keep his eyes open at all times during sex, as he does when he kisses? Probably. If you think it’s weird and off-putting, I have to remind you, once again, that the man is very tall.
This season proves that the whole show falls apart if it fails to engage its audience in the relationships early on. Seeing these people finally spending the night together would normally be a payoff to a season-long build-up. Instead, this season’s romance just looks…dull?
This episode is a mix of three overnight dates, out of which butter makes a star appearance on two of them, with awkward stares and conversations between the last three contestants on a huge couch in their hotel. I have so much sympathy for these women who were obviously told by the producers to not only sit down together before and after each date but to also ask each other questions about said dates. Let’s just turn The Bachelor into a polyamory show. That would eliminate the need for a host, i.e. Chris Harrison. (Oh, and Matt’s dad made an appearance for a conversation that seemed entirely too private to be translated on national television).
The first one up is Michelle who gets a spa day with Matt. They get to bathe in milk and rub butter on each other. This date, along with the footage we got from last week’s Women Tell All of the raw egg eating and beer chugging competition, makes me believe that the producers of the show do not accept contestants who are lactose intolerant, vegan, or do not drink alcohol. In addition to them being beautiful, thin, and able-bodied, of course.
Michelle ends up spending the night with Matt and telling him that she loves him. At one point, he kisses her in response and, at another point, he thanks her for sharing that with him. No red flags here.
Bri and Matt go camping on their date. I know that the pandemic has been tough on reality shows like The Bachelor, which rely on travel as a means to keep the setting dynamic, but this date seems so bleak even in comparison to the milk tub.
Bri also tells Matt that she loves him and Matt, once again, does not return the sentiment. How many times have you been on a date looking at the guy with your heart-shaped eyes and telling him you love him only for him to nod with a smile, kiss you and silently lead you to his bedroom? Matt is smooth.
Rachael is the last one. She gets pretty worked up about Matt spending the night with two other women. He assuages her fears by actually responding to her love confession and saying that he is also falling in love with her. Seems like there is no competition there. Interestingly, the producers decided not to include the segment from the previews of a conversation between the two when Rachael tells Matt that she does see and acknowledge color. Considering the racist controversy that has been surrounding Rachael for the past month, it was expected. In addition to Matt professing his love to her, Rachael also gets a fireworks show at the end of her date.
Meanwhile, Bri, who by the way did not receive the rose at the end of Fantasy Suites week and was sent home, had to lay on the ground in the woods and then spend the night in a tiny cabin?? Need I remind you that this woman also quit her job mid-season for this man. Justice for Bri. At least she’s done with this season, while we still have to go through one more episode.
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